The Seven Keys to Successful Workplace Communication

YOU ARE HOW YOU TALK

The way you talk to people at work can directly impact your success. Not being aware of this can cost you money and take away from being happy in your career. Most of us assume we are pretty good communicators. Think of the people you deal with in business: customers, bosses, colleagues, and employees. Do they use the best words at the best time?

Most of our communication is done unconsciously. We let out a stream of thoughts. We might yawn in the middle of a sentence. We check our cell phones while listening. We write a quick email and send it out without reading it. These are all common habits. What if we really gave some thought to how other people viewed us and what they were thinking?

There is a quick way to connect to a person: make THEM the center of attention. Who doesn’t want to feel special? How do you feel when someone remembers your name? How about when they ask you questions about yourself? Can you tell if they are interested in what you are saying?

I wrote the Seven Keys to Successful Workplace Communication to help people. Most of them won’t surprise you, but a couple might. The importance here is NOT whether you are aware of them, but whether you DO them. To make them part of your communication style, you must be conscious of them.

1 — KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE

Knowing your audience is the most important aspect of communication. Fundamentally, the question you should be asking yourself is: Do you know the person or group you are talking with? Can you anticipate their reactions? Make this a priority and you will find, without a doubt, that your messages are more impactful and better received.

Chances are that if you are going to meet someone, you Google them. That’s a good start. A Google search will not tell you what kind of mood they are usually in. It won’t tell you whether or not they prefer to talk, text, or email. To really get to know someone, talk to them. Ask them direct questions. Remember to memorize the answers.

Another way I describe knowing your audience is: What’s in it for them? If someone else is going to give you their time, how will they benefit? Are you offering a solution or just bringing up another problem? What type of person do you like to be around?

When you know and fulfill their needs first, you’ve made a major step to becoming an ally with that person. Want a quick way to connect to someone? Make THEM the center of attention. Who doesn’t want to feel special? How do you feel when someone remembers your name? How about when they ask you questions about yourself? Can you tell if they are interested in what you are saying?

2 — BE AN ENGAGED LISTENER

Spoiler Alert: being a good listener does not just mean not talking. It means hearing AND responding to what is being said.

Cell phones and social media have really had a profound effect on listening. We now all have platforms to give our opinions. We’re enchanted by the number of likes or comments we receive. Cable “news” has become an outlet for national discourse. It has stopped being an objective form of information. Websites and the internet have yet to fill the void. So listeners are in high-demand.

Does this mean you shouldn’t have an opinion? No, not at all. But an opinion worth listening to is an informed one. An informed opinion comes from collecting information from reliable sources a.k.a. “listening.”

3 — SEEK TO UNDERSTAND

Seek to Understand is an extension of listening. We’re talking so much in American today that we have a shortage of compassion and empathy. To embrace others and their stresses, we must be willing to take the time to understand them.

The iconic business writer Steven Convey published a much-heralded book more than 25 years ago called “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” It was groundbreaking years ago and it remains relevant today. Convey put it this way in Habit 5: Seek to Understand, Before You Seek to Be Understood. He subtitled the habit: Principles of Empathic Communication.

Covey puts it: “We have such a tendency to rush in, to fix things up with good advice. But we often fail to take the time to diagnose, to really deeply understand the problem first.” We’ve all heard the studies about the shrinking American attention span. Disappearing are in-depth articles about important topics. We want our information in bite-sized pieces. But, some issues are just too complex to shortchange. The scientists who developed vaccines for Covid-19 did not have such short-cuts. They had to understand a series of things to get to the vaccine: how the body functions, what the virus attacks, what are the natural anti-bodies, etc. Understanding people require the same practices.

We have a great human need to be understood and to have our voices heard. It makes sense then that our business colleagues want to be understood as well. Seeking to understand, before you seek to be understood is another way of saying, “I’m putting you first.” And who doesn’t appreciate that?

Empathic listening means listening with the intent to understand. Empathic comes from empathy and it means to get inside another person’s frame of reference. You understand how THEY feel. “In empathic listening, you listen with your ears, but you also, and more importantly, listen with your eyes and with your heart,” Covey writes. “You listen for feeling, for meaning.”

Can you think of a time you felt listened to in this way? How did it make you feel?

4 — SOLUTIONS AND IMPORTANT INFORMATION COME FIRST

This might seem obvious but think about how you were taught to write college papers. You state your premise. You provide background data. You offer options. Then you come to a conclusion. Great for academics, bad for business.

If you are being asked to come up with a solution, more than likely the person doing the asking already has the background. That’s how they know there’s a problem in the first place. You probably wouldn’t have been asked to come up with a solution if there wasn’t some trust involved. You don’t have to outline your credentials. In Joel Schwartzber’s book “Get to the Point!,” he emphasizes that you have to “know your point to get to the point.”

Any business communication, verbal or written, is most effective if you get to the point first. Some CEO’s even ask that emails to them have the solution in the subject line. Once you’ve offered your solution, then describe how you got there. 90% of the time, that will never get read. Schwartzber goes on to write: “In many cases, you can enhance your point by incorporating the highest value proposition.” A boss will always like to see: “This will save big dollars!”

5 — DEVELOP THE ABILITY TO HOLD DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS

This is vital to being both a successful employee and a boss. Without this ability, being able to hold difficult discussions communication turns murky. You’re not really sure what a person is trying to say if they can’t be direct albeit kind. Even worse, if you can’t have difficult conversations, passive-aggressive behavior begins to emerge. People dance around the issues.

In a recent study, 80% of people said they would rather leave their jobs before they have a difficult discussion. Doesn’t that seem a little ridiculous to you? I wouldn’t want them working in my Accounts Receivable department.

Let’s turn this around for a moment. Even though conversations can be uncomfortable, wouldn’t you rather know where you stand in a job rather than staying up nights worrying?

6 — BE AUTHENTIC… TO A POINT

The freedom to be yourself is why you took the job in the first place. Or is it? Did you actually take the job to practice your craft and get paid for it? Probably, more likely. Remember that there are no guaranteed freedoms in the workplace. Think Colin Kaepernick, the NFL, and kneeling for the national anthem.

You may like that you are boisterous and opinioned. That may work at the club after work, but it might not fly at your place of employment. There’s a lot of press these days about being authentic, but there is a time and place for everything and a continuous flow of opinions may not be the best approach, particularly if those opinions come across as constant complaining. Your authentic self may like to work in sweats and slippers, but even though the pandemic may redefine business casual, the law firm may not go for that look. The question to ask yourself is: Is your authentic self, disruptive to other people? If so, you may need to adjust.

Be enthusiastic. Be passionate. Keep an open mind. But save your authenticity for things that really matter. In other words, pick your battles.

7 — TIMING IS EVERYTHING

No headline here. When you deliver a message may be as important as the message itself. Do you pick a battle with your boss right after a budget meeting? Do you know when the best time to ask for a raise is?

You have to understand the environment to understand timing. You might not want to propose a new, expanded project in an economic downturn. You might want to take advantage of a similar business that’s about to close in town.

The most valuable commodity at work is time. Moods change. Deadlines come and go. Make sure you present your information at the most opportune time.

SIMPLE, YET DIFFICULT TO ACCOMPLISH

You can start practicing these concepts even before you get your first part-time job. You can work on these if you are a 20-year veteran and a vice-president. If you want to have influence and want to help others, realize how important clear communication is. Don’t forget to be kind and empathetic.

You can be happier and more successful if you learn to communicate with your friends and colleagues in ways that help you be heard and your ideas added to the top of the priority list.